The Most Intimate Word of All?

"I."

Why I? After all, it belongs to everyone and to no one. From one angle nothing could be more public and less intimate. But behind the scenes, in the privacy on our own hearts and minds, "I" am the indispensable center of this universe. Not exactly the kind of intimacy most of us want any part of?

But a little consideration may reveal that there is more to "I" than meets the eye. "I" can be rather narrow: "I beg your pardon, but I was sitting there"; somewhat larger: "I only regret that I have but one life to give for my country"; or limitless: "I am that I am."

None of these sizes is necessarily better, or truer than than the others. After all, it would be  a bit perverse for a bride or groom to declare "I am the way and the truth and the life" when a heartfelt "I do" is called for. The real question then is context. As self-defeating as it might sound to declare "I am an idiot," under certain circumstances (hopefully not these very ones) such a sentence, spoken with the right balance of levity and gravity, might be delightfully liberating.

And herein lies the intimacy of I, though we almost always miss it. Only I know what "I" means when I say it...unless I am able to able to faithfully express exactly what I mean to you. When that ordinary miracle happens, when my "I" and your "I" intersect, or less clinically, when we communicate, another level of intimacy descends on us.

We do well to remember, I suggest, that such intimacy, and with any luck such friendship, depends entirely on my capacity for real intimacy with who and what I am. Oh, and "your" capacity, too.